Life in nyc continues

June 1, 2009

Alex’s fun visit leaves me missing my family and friends in California more than I have in the past 3 months. It was his first time in NYC, so I showed him the typical sights, like Times Square and Rockefeller Center and when I was busy at work, he explored Central Park, Harlem, The Met and Museum of Natural History on his own. He was here for 10 days, enough time for everything: touristy things, hanging out with my friends and even just watching a few movies at home. At the end of some days, he was quite pooped (not used to the busy packed NY days) and our feet were tired, too. We saw Guys and Dolls, walked the Brooklyn Bridge, saw Coney Island, watched a few Lakers games and ate a lot, including Di Fara’s pizza, Pomme Frites, Café Habana, Caracas Arepas, Keen’s Steakhouse, chicken and rice food carts, Chinatown Ice Cream Factory and Petite Albeit. We had a GREAT time together. It’s always so wonderful to have visitors. It’s my way of staying connected to you guys. It means a lot when you see my everyday life here. Then you have a better visual image when you read my blog. But it’s always hard when visitors leave.

More recently, just this past weekend, I had a superb time, enjoying a few freebies. I went to the Book Expo America on Saturday and got so many free books, that the next day my shoulders were sore from carrying the heavy bags around. Then on Sunday afternoon, a friend, Kristy, and I stood in line for about 1 ½ hours for a free Hillsongs concert, lead by Darlene Zschech, at a church called Brooklyn Tabernacle. The church is huge and beautiful and I definitely want to go back to experience their worship choir, which has won several awards. I was blessed by Hillsong’s worship and thought of you, Elaine. Unfortunately, I did start to fall asleep once during prayer, because the night before, I was hanging out late with friends, eating Korean food and I didn’t get to bed til 5:44 am.

A rare occurrence this weekend was I rode in a car twice! It was a beautiful sunny day and 3 other girls, including Kristy, (all coincidentally from So Cal) enjoyed the gorgeous sights of the city from the West End highway as we drove down to Soho for some girl bonding over shopping. We had the radio turned up and were dancing and so happy to be with each other. The 2nd car ride was because I ran into another friend at the Hillsongs concert and got a car ride home. Again, we soaked in the gorgeous sights, as we drove over the Hudson River on the Manhattan bridge, between the Queensboro bridge and Brooklyn bridge. This time, it was the city lights against the dark night sky. Kristy and I were so happily tired from such a special day.

Now Monday arrives and most people “have a case of the Mondays” (I love Office Space) because they must return to work. I can relate to that awful feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. I felt that heavy brick for the past several years. My new case of the Mondays is by far not as bad as what I previously felt. Since most people go to work, my Mondays are quiet. After such a high from fun weekends, the quiet can be somewhat somber and lonely as I’m reminded of worries and frustrations. But then I remember that downtime is very necessary to reflect and spend time with God and I’m grateful for the rest.
For the past 3 weeks, I have done almost nothing with my job search, due to being sick, busy with temp work, Alex’s visit, but mostly because I am discouraged and just fed up. It is so hard to stay faithful. God is teaching me to trust Him because I sometimes get impatient and even angry with Him. I took a leap of faith to leave my life in beautiful California and realize I expected His rewards to pour in rather quickly. In 11 days, it will mark my one year anniversary of my last day at Monroe Elementary. UNBELIEVEABLE. One Year. I am still amazed that it’s been one year. One year of job searching, researching, skills improvement, emailing, networking, etc…In the past 3 weeks, I’ve turned on my computer to sit down to apply to some jobs and it’s almost a physical reaction. My brain and hands cannot write another cover letter that will most likely lead to nothing and tears of discouragement or anger well in my eyes.

Another concern is apartment hunting. My lease ends in less than 2 months and one of my roommates, Jeananne, and I are looking together. We have a few options that we’ve been exploring. Ideally, I’d love to stay exactly where I am. For those of you who have been able to visit, it’s such a great place, right? It’s spacious and affordable (according to NY standards), clean, cockroach-free (haha) with a gorgeous view and very convenient, being that it’s close to many subway stops. What makes apartment hunting difficult is not having a job. Obviously without an income, I can’t make rent, but also without a pay stub, I can’t be on a lease. I don’t have the freedom to rent where ever I’d like, I need to depend on someone who can be on the lease. I have a roommate and a place, but I need a person that makes enough to be on the lease.

God is teaching me to trust and not worry. I worry too much and He’s revealed to me that in the past He has worked everything out. He showed me that my past concerns that were all consuming were eventually answered.